Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Marty and Me

Marty turned 14 years old this week! If you dont know who Marty is, you probably dont know me too well. I have had Marty since he was 6 weeks old - he puked on my feet driving home and its only gotten better ever since. I watched that stupid movie Marley and Me when I was pregnant and I absolutely bawled. I am not much of a sobber when it comes to movies but your hormones get all jiggy and when I thought about losing Marty I couldn't stop blubbering. I had some flashbacks of all of our good (and bad) times together over the past 14 years.

1 shredded Mini Cooper S back seat (I have still not forgiven him)
1 shredded GMC van seat
953 eye watering farts
2 expensive knee surgeries after chasing a "bad bunny"
2 pink casts for said knee surgeries
1 bacterial infection of the spine (Kristenn figured it out)
830 rocks chased on the beach
14 teeth removed from eating said rocks
2 mailmen forever terrorized by a big black dog for cookies
1 wedding
1 ass kicking received from a small fluffy white dog
1 ass kicking received from a marmalade cat
32 ass kickings delivered to dogs that tried to hump Marty
4 bras with the underwire skillfully removed (Marty's specialty)
5 expensive science textbooks eaten
3 chewed leashes (until i got smart and bought a metal one)
0 dumps in the house
6 bones stolen from his buddy Rex down the road
15 tennis balls and baseballs found in the park and immediately destroyed
1 ego crushing incident where Marty ran into a park bench
9950 enormous dumps
8 pounds of bacon (1 pound a year for his birthday)
1 whistle that both of us can hear in a crowded room
967 customers greeted at Frontrunners
6 awkward humps in the back seat of the car (the only place he gets horny)
2 girlfriends Heike (boxer) and Humu (pointer)
1 non-sexual male crush on his buddy Raven (pitt bull mix)
26 energy gels consumed with his girl Humu
1 enormous belly ache from said energy gels
54 frisky romps in the snow
2 fluffly white pillows shredded with his girl Humu
748 snuggles when Marty is allowed in the bed
656 beach cruises
1575 amazing trail runs, skis and mountain bike rides

Thanks for the memories Marty. Lots more to come!

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