The Future

So the best part of my 2 weeks in K-bec was meeting these 2 little rippers – Marine and Ariane Lewis. I spotted them decked out in full KONA gear on matching Kula Supreme hardtails so I rode by and gave them a big thumbs up and yelled something at them to acknowledge their KONA loyalty. Jerseys, gloves, sox, stickers, they had it all. Nothing is cooler to me than seeing little girls on mountain bikes and if it’s Kona’s they choose all the better. Little did I know that gesture would get me two superfans for life. 

I was racing the Nationals course the next day and there they were, the two of them, screaming my name on the steep climb. Cheering for me madly. And after the race they came over looking for my number plate and Kona water bottles to autograph. I chatted with them in my pigeon French for a bit and found out they were racing the “kids race” the next morning. 

Well, I called it the “kids race,” but as we watched the call up for the Nationals races the next day I soon realized this was no follow-the-wicknasty-circus-clown “kids race”. Marine and Ariane were the real deal. They were called up 1-2 for leading the provincial series in the Pee Wee category (under 13). And their faces on the start line said it all: they were fierce! I gave them a quick wave but I didn’t want to throw them off their game. My brother and I rode around cheering them on at different sections of the course (I think he was checking out the competition for Hannah). They were flying! Picking off boys every lap and ripping up the downhills. When they heard us calling their names they would go even faster (a la Sneddon). The two sisters were battling back and forth for the first 2 laps. Blood meant nothing when they were racing. It was going to come down to the last lap to see what sister would take it but unfortunately Marine flatted and had to run. She looked pretty upset so we encouraged her to keep running and finish strong. Her sister Ariane pulled into the lead and won the race with a big grin on her face. Marine ran it in and finished in top 10 but on the verge of tears. We found out from her dad that she had been sick that morning but still wanted to race. Tough cat! 

We got some photos together because I figure the Lewis sisters will probably be taking over Marie Helene Premont’s spotlight in the future. Kona should keep these 2 on the roster. 

The whole Lewis family came back the next week for the World Cup at Mont Saint Ann with custom coloured signs saying "Go Wendy". As much pain as I was in on that steep climb, I HAD to look over and check it out. And the whole family showed up again in the POURING rain in Bromont to cheer me on again. Wow. That is dedication. Unfortunately I didn't put on much of a show for them on that day but they still cheered me on. Thanks guys!

Rain, rain, rain.

Bromont World Cup

It pretty much rained ALL week in Bromont, K-bec. Not just drizzly rain but mighty east coast thunderstorms with torrential downpours, crazy lightening and hard core thunder. When it wasn't raining it was humid. The course was a bit of a mess so we didn't ride it very much. Huge bogs that you couldn't ride through, giant puddles that could swallow your front tire whole and lots of sklick off camber roots and rocks. It did more damage to the bike (and my ego) so it was best to just stay away. Everyone was sick of the rain and a bit cranky as we had all been away from home for close to a month and wanted desperately to wrap this trip up. It didn't help that everyone was raving about the weather back home. It wasn't the best attitude to have so we tried to stay busy. We went go-karting, outlet shopping, ate local pie & poutine and we watched a LOT of Discovery Channel. At least it was Shark Week.

Wicknasty ready to rumble

When the race did finally come around it rained all morning. Surprise surprise. At least there was no question what tires I would run.... I had an OK start. For what the start was worth. 10m through thick awkward mud than a left hand turn and start climbing a looooong steep climb. I rocked the first 10m. And apparently the first couple minutes of the climb as a whole bunch of girls got bogged up in mud and had to get off their bikes and run. It wasn't because I had rockstar legs it was because I stayed on my bike. And that first few minutes was about the highlight. I climbed sloooowly and everyone passed me and I rode what I could in the mud and ran the rest but not fast enough to make up too many spots. I seemed to find a groove on the last lap but it was too late. I passed a couple of girls and ended up 20th in a slow motion mud sprint against a Japanese girl. However I WAS told that I won the muddiest person award. Thats worth something isn't it??

My slow motion sprint finish for 20th. That is me in the "white" kit (#23). They are still not clean. photo by Lizzie

Lizzie and Geo were my saviours and took me to the airport right after the race so I could jump on a plane and get home that night. So good to me! Norm was kind enough to plan a 4hr mountain bike ride coined "the impossible ride" the next morning at 8am. But it was a blue bird day so I could not say no. It wasn't my smoothest, fastest ride ever but it was one of the grandest. Nanaimo's best trails, great friends, and hot summer sun. Exactly what I needed.

Mont St Anne World Cup

It was pretty sweet not having to travel after Nationals. Too bad the week was full of rain. I get enough of that on the west coast, no need to throw more at me on the east coast. Lame. So the big debate (for a tread nerd like myself) was tire choice. The course was sloppy and wet in the woods but as soon as the sun came out it would dry up pretty quick in the open sections. Lucie from Kona brought in some new tread for me as my old tires were not hooking up. After testing them out I had my mental flow chart established. No rain: small block 8. Rain: karma. Rain the night before but dry when I woke up: half and half. But at 11pm the skies opened up and absolutely dumped its load on us. I hadn’t added “tropical monsoon” to the flow chart but my guess was no morning sun was going to dry that up by 11am. Go with the karmas. I turned my brain off and tried to go to sleep but the postDH “Bleu Nuit” rave in the village was going strong and I could hear the DJ until about 6am. 

Everyone had assumed that they would shorten the number of laps from 5 to 4 with the downpour the night before. Even 2 mins before the start girls were whispering about it. But they stuck with 5 laps so it would be a long haul. I had a great start! Almost no effort and I was sitting in 5th on the first start loop. First climb a few girls were starting to swarm but I was still top 15. When we hit the first singletrack and it was a mess. A long line of girls in the mud. Georgia Gould (Luna) snuck by on foot but then everyone tried to duplicate and the holes closed up. Once the course opened up things started to move a bit better. I was riding the technical pretty well and climbing steady, working hard to make up a few spots and ride in 9th. But I must have burped my front tire at the start of lap 4 because I started to feel it fold in the corners. I checked it on the run and it felt like I had enough air to get to the pits for a wheel change. But then I hit a rock on the descent and flatted. I ran to the bottom pulled over and got out my air cartridge to try the quick fix. Amanda Sin (3 Rox Racing) passed me. Damn. But the quick fix worked and I was on my way. I passed Lucie on the course and told her I would need a new front wheel. Not too bad. Not much time wasted and still top 10. I was feeling pretty smug but then I could feel that the tire wasn’t holding air and I rolled it and ate shit on the fast bumpy downhill section. A small hole in my knee, bruised ego and then 4 girls passed me. Not so smug anymore. I just needed to get down the hill to the pit. Alive. So I scaled back my speed and limped down. I made it to the pits and pulled into the Shimano neutral support and got a new wheel. At this point I was pretty bummed because I had worked hard to get past all these girls and now I needed to repeat the effort. I didn’t have that much energy left in the tank so could only muster 13th. My best world cup finish to date but hard to choke down as I was hoping for a top 10. 

GMs "midseason" pep talk. 

"despite the fact we're still in the middle of the Tour, the fact is that road racing season's basically over anyway. The astute rider has already written it off and begun focusing his or her attention on cyclocross. The key to a successful racing season is to always live a minimum of four months in the future, mentally-speaking. That way you can dismiss your poor performances as simple preparation. Sure, you may not get anywhere near the front of the pack in a road race this summer, but you're just trying to get some intense mileage in so you'll be ready for cyclocross season. Poor mountain bike racing is even easier to rationalize--you're just doing that to improve your bike-handling. And of course once 'cross season does begin, you're still under no pressure to get results because, really, you're just doing it to maintain your form during the off-season. With the right attitude, you can surf an entire year of racing like a great big wave of mediocrity. Winning is for dopers and sandbaggers."

East coast sweets. I guess you could say I celebrated. What the hell would I have eaten if I won?? Maybe a big bucket of lard.

photo by Rob Jones www.canadiancyclist.com

National MTB Champs

I have never really been a mastermind peaker, which means I have never had really had a rockstar Nationals. It's not that I crumble under pressure and  tank the big events (except that DNF at Nationals when I was crapping my pants for ten days after getting home from Belize...but thats another story). But some people just seem to be better at eeking out that extra few % on the right day. With the help of my brother Kevin we have gotten much better at the peak. During this time, I have discovered how to squeeze out what I like to call my "faux peak". Its a pretty easy recipe. Do a shitload of miles, rest, and then do some short, hard cyclocross workouts (or races) and voila - I trick my body into thinking that have a winter base under my belt. So, with the 7 day BC Bike Race in my legs I knew I was primed to pull out a Simms faux peak for Nationals. 

Unfortunately, with a 2 day delay on the arrival of my bike (thanks Air Canada) my faux peak was thrown off and my legs felt pretty noodley at the beginning of the week. But I did all the right things, all week long and hoped for the best. The morning of the race I started my warm up and assessed how my legs felt. I started with "good", moved onto "pretty good", and ended my warm up with "(potentially) great legs". I guess I was still a bit skeptical....

I was pretty realistic for Nationals. Marie Helene Premont (Rocky Mountain) is number one in the world cup series, has trained on this course for a decade (everything in the area is named after her) and has been National Champion for 5 years running. Catharine Pendrel (Luna) has had a phenomenal year cracking the world cup podium and mastered the Nationals peak when she was in diapers. My chances of beating these gals was pretty slim, but my goal was to get on the podium. I had to race smart and not blow it chasing down our Olympic MTB team to end up fourth. You know how much I hate fourth.....

photo by Rob Jones www.canadiancyclist.com

With only 23 girls on the start line it wasn't exactly world cup aggression at the gun. I went into the first climb without blowing any matches. None! First goal - check. Marie was already waaay up the road on her new carbon hardtail but I blocked out the rabbit and concentrated on smooth. I got a small gap right away on the descents and focussed on riding steady. Don't blow, don't blow, don't blow.  I saw the chasers close behind but kept them at bay on the downhills. On lap 2 I saw someone come out of the tech zone right ahead. I didn't really recognize her because she wasn't wearing her National Champ kit (she has been in it every race for 5 years except nationals so you can understand my confusion). Marie was having some technical troubles. It was a good little carrot so I kept her close. When she stopped in the next tech zone and I got ahead I decided to up the ante a little bit to see where Catharine was. But there is a reason Marie is #1 in the world and when she sorted out her fork issues she caught and dropped me in one fell swoop. I had to stay focussed on my goal and not blow my good position. I only had 30secs on Amanda Sin (3 Rox Racing) in 4th so I went back to riding steady and grew my gap bit by bit. I kept it together and rolled in 3rd, my first podium finish at Nationals. A long time coming....The faux peak came through.

photo by Rob Jones www.canadiancyclist.com

Lizzie and Geo finally got to witness a good race out of me at Mont Saint Anne. They have been watching me race national and international events here for years but I have never been able to give them a good show.  Throw the Thibaults in Quebec on holiday with Norm's godparents and Norm shipped out last minute for his birthday (thanks Stefan!) it was a family affair. But.....

Unfortunately I may have rubbed my fourthplaceitis off on Norm as he finished 4th in the Masters race Sunday........he hates being 4th!

Underpantless in la belle province

After the NY NMBS we high tailed it out of Windham to get to Georgia Gould's farm where the boys were staying all week. From what we could tell, the Gould's pretty much owned half of NY state as the family had properties scattered all over. They were hosting the Kona team, the Luna team, family from Italy, family from out of state, and maybe a few random people off the street to bring the party to an even 50. We had a yummy BBQ, drank wine, played ping pong and looked for bears. Unfortunately I was flying out to Quebec Monday afternoon so I had to get a childhood's worth of memories in just one morning so we trucked down to the river to see "the Forge", the coolest swimming spot ever. I wasn't really planning on swimming before my flight but when I saw how awesome it was I dove in with shorts and a sports bra.  I jumped off the high rock, swam upstream and checked out the crazy rock formations smoothed out by the river. We hit "the picnic rocks" and skipped rocks, tested out war paint colours, picked berries and looked for "pollywogs". As Ben said, "its like Narnia!" Too bad for me I had to take off to catch my flight. I was freezing so I changed into some dry clothes on top of my packed luggage. No time to dig for dry underpants. I figured it was a short trip so I went to the airport commando, smelling like river. Its not like I was flying to europe or anything. I could take my wet clothes out of my bag and get some underpants on soon enough. It was worth squeezing out a few extra minutes at the river. easy peezy lemon squeezy. But I was wrong.

I arrived in Quebec with spare wheels. No bag, no bike, no underpants. I had been on 2 small planes so I figured they just didnt fit and would be here in the morning. I filed the paperwork and went to the airport hotel with my parents. My mom offered me her "flannel nightie" but I took her up on some HIGH waisted XS shorts and an XS tank to sleep in. Its not a fashion show OK? We headed to Mont St Anne the next day with no bike or bag and no clue where they were but I wasnt too worried.  Delayed luggage is pretty normal. Two days later I started to get worried. The airline had no clue where my bags were and the dudes from India that were manning the "help" lines appeared to be quite useless. 

I had washed my clothes by then (while hanging out in my high waisted shorts) but I still had no underpants and no bike. It was time to stop hoping for the best and get proactive. My legs felt like crap and I needed to ride. I tracked down the local Kona dealer but he only had DH bikes to loan me. He did take pity on me and gave me a good discount on a chammy and sports bra and suggested renting a bike from the hill. The shopping selection wasn't exactly prime in Beaupre (unless you want cheese curds) but I found some underpants and something  to sleep in (no, not a nightie) and a change of clothes. Then I rented a bike. Not exactly your finely tuned race machine with heavy ass wheels and 40psi in the tires but my legs really needed a spin. It was a $150 spin. But I did get some good looks when I ripped down the trails and nailed the skinnies with my rec rider attire. 

Of course once I shelled out some cash my bike and bag showed up that night. I had to wash everything in the bag because it smelt like dank river water but at least I had my own underpants back and my sweet sweet Hei Hei. Traveling is so glamorous.

New York NMBS race report

I wasn't exactly feeling snappy after the BC7, even after taking most of the week off  the bike. Surprisingly enough I had gained a few pounds after 7 days of racing. I would like to think it was a few pounds of pure muscle but I dont have the documents to back that up.  I knew all those hours (and extra weight in gold) would come into form at some point, I just wasn't sure when....Flat or not, I knew I had to get some efforts into my legs to make all those hours worth something so I took off for New York.

Check out those pipes! Maybe all that BC singletrack made me a wee bit top heavy?

photo by Dave McElwayne www.trailwatch.net

XC

Even though I had a 3rd place finish at the Fontana NMBS, I had flatted in AZ and missed the last 2 races so I had a pretty rookie call up position. Lets just say there were only a few girls behind me when the gun went off. The jist of the course was that it criss crossed UP Windham ski hill and then criss crossed back DOWN. It was a really fun course but had a good chunk of climbing so I didn't want to blow what shred of form I might have in my legs off the start line so I took it a bit easy to feel it out. At the first bottleneck into the singletrack I wondered if that was such a smart plan. But my legs felt OK so I started to move forward and pick people off. The leaders were long gone but I was warming up and moving forward. I burnt a few matches to get by gals but I think my legs needed it. My third lap was a bit flat as I lost my 8th place position to Emily Batty (Trek VW) on the climb but all in all not as painful as I had expected. More importantly, my legs felt better than when I had started. A good sign for the STX.

The standard STX "pain face" had not shown up yet

photo Dave McElwayne www.trailwatch.net

STX

The short track course wasn't much to look at but it made for one of the best STX races I have ever done. Although I had another mediocre start position, this time I chewed up the rhubarb in my big ring to move into top 5 off the line. As per usual, the Luna gals jumped off the front but on this course, they could not seem to open a very big gap. We had about 7 gals in the chase group that could taste the blue train. Heather Irmiger (Subaru Gary Fisher) lead the chase for the first chunk of the race. It always amazes me how much power that wee body can churn out. After the race, she complained that I gave off a crappy draft because I was too skinny, uhhhhm how much draft do you think I get, a saquatch behind a bunch of midgets? I felt great but I didn't know how long my legs would last so I played it smart and resisted my own impatience and let the wee one work.  We caught Georgia Gould (Luna) then Katerina Nash (Luna) charged ahead. We caught Katerina and then Georgia took off. Damn team tactics. Even Catharine Pendrel (Luna) bridged up and tried to work us over but we were too many and too strong for them to get away for very long. We were actually making them work pretty hard for their podiums. Finally the chase group lost a bit of steam so I decided to take my fresh legs to the front. But I was torn. I didnt want to tow the group up and get spit out the back but they were so close! I made a push on the second last lap and got a bit of a gap. I wondered if it was too early but had to go for it. I was closing in on Georgia in 2nd when Micaal bridged up and then I made my first error. I tucked behind her to get a bit of rest for the final sprint but there wasnt much room for sprinting. So I ended up 4th. But my legs felt great so maybe those extra few pounds from BC7 had gone to the right place. 

After the race I went to grab my vest and the men were getting ready to start. A voice in the start blocks sheepishly said "Hi Wendy, uhm I am your stalker". Awesome! I finally get to meet my stalkers. Even Joy was there. I think they were a little nervous at first but once they knew I wasn't creeped out we were all BFFs.

Super D

I decided to sign up for the super D at the last minute. I had my plush Hei Hei Supreme and the XC descent was a blast so I figured the super D would dish out more of the same. The fact that the course was being described as "terrifying" and "unsafe" just spurred me on. Unfortunately those reports meant that a lot of girls decided not to race because nationals was the next weekend and they were playing it safe. Barry and I prerode the course right after the mens STX race and it was fine. I would have liked to have had a bit more tread as it was pretty DH oriented but no time for that. I lost the Lemans start to a DHer. Ouch that hurt the ego! So I pedalled my sticks off to get ahead. The plan was to try to work the upper portion that required a bit of fitness and get into the tight singletrack first then try to hold on for as long as possible. I figured the DHers would catch me on the fast open run into the finish. But things went better than planned and I rolled into the finish with over a minute buffer. I even beat Barry by 5 seconds! As tim.goater would say, he got "bloused". No financial gain, no glory, just bragging rights. 

BC Bike Race recap

BC Bike race. photo by John Gibson

Day Zero - Shawnigan Lake school

Logistics. A seven day point to point race has a LOT of logistics and day zero is the time to sort it all out. Norm and I drove down to Shawnigan Lake with my sisters friends Mark Duk and Brad Marlborough (Pain for Pleasure) from Calgary. Brad mentioned he had packed running shoes so that he could go for a jog every morning. Norm and I snickered and bet how many days that would last. I bet zero days. Norm bet one day. Later in the week a weary looking Brad got a little embarassed when we asked how his running program was going. Zero - I win. We met up with the Kona crew Dave McNaught (mechanic and driver), John Gibson (aka "the Gibtron" our photographer) and our fellow Kona team of Barry Wicks and Kris Sneddon. It was going to be a fun week. We picked up our big bag of schwag and listened to the pre race logistics in the dining hall of Shawnigan Lake school. Nobody rides alone. Watch out for cougars in Whistler. Carry your rainjacket even if its 30C. Got it.

Stage 1 Shawnigan Lake to Lake Cowichan - approx 90km

There was no staging for Day 1, first come first serve. Norm is always aware of these important details so we hovered around the sign-on area until they opened it up. We were fast enough to get a second row spot mixed in with all the big wig boys. Rubbing shoulders with Tinker. I was a little worried because I had done a run workout on Thursday and my hamstrings still hurt to the touch. I wasn't feeling so spry. Stupid lunges. But we needed to start fast and get into the singletrack before the other 400 racers bunged it up. Unfortunately everyone else had the same game plan. The start of the race was supposed to be nice and easy - two short loops around Shawnigan Lake school before hitting the trails. A chance for the photographers to get some cool shots from the helicopter. But it was absolute mayhem. Everyone had pent up excitement from months of training for this event and there was chaos from the gun. Crashes, swearing, bumping. That would have been fine but unfortunately the school groundskeeper had decided to cut the long grass in the field we looped through so 5 minutes into the race 400 people were frantically removing grass out of their cogs or worse - trying to repair broken derailleurs. We finally pulled out of the chaos and settled into a long hot stage. My legs felt like crap so we had to go pretty steady to start but it turned out OK as people were cracking all over the placein the heat. We haven't seen much of the sun this year so it was carnage. I know a lot of tough racers that cracked that day. Our slower start may have saved us as we finished strong on the rail trail into Cowichan. 4:51 for stage 1 and into the red leaders jerseys with a solid gap. Top 10 overall. An A&W recovery burger and a dip in chilly Lake Cowichan made us feel much better before heading off to our homestay with Larissa.

Stage 2 Lake Cowichan to Port Alberni ~125km

There was a bit of grumbling about this stage because of the lack of singletrack but I realized that people will grumble about everything. Its too easy, its too hard. It has no singletrack, it has too much singletrack. At 30C the heat was going to be a major factor for this long stage. We wanted to be with a big group for as long as possible. The only problem with that plan was there was some pretty jiggy riders in the pack. I was riding my Kona Kula 2-9 Deluxe which was perfect for this kind of stage. Unfortunately I was goofing around with the Optimus Prime mask we had borrowed from Larissa's son Kierce so I did not notice that my fork was blown so the ride was a little rougher than it should have been. Not my most professional race day prep. In my defense, the mask had a built in voice mutator! We had a great ride and stayed with a big group without mishap for most of the day until about km 85 when the first of very few hills blew the pack apart thanks to Wicks. We pace lined it into Port Alberni on the hot dusty Bamfield road for another stage win. 4:42. We exited the venue immediately as a sweet homestay with Tom on Sprott Lake was waiting for us.

We hit the awards after a yummy BBQ and found inspiration from the "President" of Port Alberni. A jolly drunk cracker with a bad sunburn, straw hat and big belly who was married to Miss Port Alberni 1963 ( oh you can only imagine!). After he invited us down to the local pub for some "brewskies" (he was going to be there all night) we took off in the Kona truck in a blaze of roman candles. The Harbour Air truck followed us out and we thought we would get in trouble but they just smiled and passed us two cold beers through the window. Back to Tom's for a chocolate fountain desert and we all went to bed pretty happy.

Stage 3 Port Alberni to Cumberland ~80km

The buzz about camp was that today was the first day of "real" BC singletrack. The president of Port Alberni lit the canon to start our race and we made our way towards Cumberland where some sweet trails awaited us. With a good buffer on our lead we didn't have to worry as much about racing so we got to enjoy the ride. Unfortunately Norm was starting to get sick with "the funk". Sore throat, green phlegm, thick head. Its pretty hard to go through these stage races unscathed. It was only day 3 and you could already see that consecutive hard efforts were taking their toll on teams. Catastrophic mechanicals. Sickness. Heatstroke. Cranky pants. Tears. Fisticuffs. And it would only get worse. We rolled into Cumberland in 4:11 with big grins and went straight to Dave and Erin's cold basement. The heat was starting to catch up with us too.

Stage 4 Cumberland to Sechelt~60km

Hump day. Although today was a bit shorter in distance it was a loooong day because we had to wake up super early and catch a ferry from Comox to the Sunshine Coast, drive down the coast and hop on another ferry into Earl's Cove. Jump off the ferry and start racing with dead weight legs 30 minutes later. At 7am I had told Norm that I felt like I had rockstar legs but by the time the race started at 11am I felt like crap. My window was gone. I was also feeling a bit queasy after my "sunshine breakfast" (it will blow your mind) but we eased into the race pretty well. Norm had finally admitted he was sick and I was starting to feel the tickle in my throat so we backed off a bit. Just that little bit and Katie Compton and her husband Mark (Spike Shooter) came a chargin'. We battled it out with them for most of the race but managed to gain a few minutes in the lush Sunshine Coast singletrack to keep our winning streak alive. 3:41. Four for four. We were getting a good collection of jerseys. Up ahead teammates Kris Sneddon and Barry Wicks had taken the stage win and moved into the overall lead so they would be in yellow the next day. Kris Sneddon was from the Sunshine Coast so it was a matter of pride. His parents lived 5 mins from the finish so we blew off some fireworks and headed to the Sneddon's for a BBQ.

The boys looking good in yellow with Demo Dave. photo by John Gibson

Stage 5 Sechelt to Squamish~65km

Another "short" stage with lots of travel. But this was a racer favourite from the year before so everyone was excited. The course ended with a 12km downhill into the Langdale ferry that heard many hoots and hollers. By now Norm's cold was full blown and Katie and Mark were finding their groove so we always had to keep looking back to keep tabs on our lead. At one point Norm said "Spike is right behind us" so I said "well, shouldn't we pick it up?" and he responded "I HAVE been picking it up! can't you tell??" 4:12. Dave shot off some more roman candles as we crossed the line but a few wayward sparks lit his rocker hair on fire! (FYI he may look rocker but he is all country). Onto the ferry and a drive up to Squamish and we were all fried. Everyone was tired and a bit cranky. Gibtron cranky. We got to Malaika's house and were pretty much socially retarded by the time she got home. Communicating through grunts and clicks. Five days of racing was making us stupid. But both Kona teams were wearing the leaders jerseys so we couldn't complian. There were teams that were out riding twice as long as us everyday, some with head injuries, stitches, eye patches and beat up bikes so we had to keep our mouth shut. Demo Dave and the Gibtron were keeping us glued together.

Kona in the leaders jerseys. photo by John Gibson

Stage 6 Squamish to Squamish ~65km

Kona had 4 guest riders for this stage (Mark, Dik, Pat and Eddy) so Kona jerseys of varying vintages were scattered all over the course. Pretty cool bike company if I do say so myself. The boys had been drinking into the night so they were a bit fuzzy on the start line. (I am pretty sure Matson was still drunk as he had a stupid grin on his face and a glazed look in his eyes). Apparently Matson blew chunks so violently at the top of 9mile climb that the rest had to turn away with goosebumps for fear of puking too. But we missed all the antics. Until he drank a beer at the finish and dry heaved under the trees. This was my absolute favourite stage. The Squamish crew had given us the best singletrack of the Gearjammer and the Test of Metal to pull together an absolutely amazing day. 3:53 of BC's best riding. Two more jerseys for the pile. Norm's new rule of new clothes in=old clothes out was going to devastate my closet.

The Kona crew. Pre-puke. phot by John Gibson.

Stage 7 All Whistler, all day ~47km

Everyone was pretty shattered going into this stage but the distance was "only" 47kms so we all planned for a shorter stage. I was pretty queasy at just the thought of gels and gatorade so I hoped I could keep my energy intake to a minimum. But this was by far the hardest day of the lot. They sent us STRAIGHT up Whistler mountain. Ouch. This was followed by 40kms of pure singletrack which, when your body is battered, is a tough feat. At one point Norm asked me if it felt like I was drunk because we felt so fuzzy and slow. I bounced off roots and rocks like a pinball. It was definitely not my smoothest day on a bike. At one point I hit the dirt so hard I was frazzled into submission because I had no clue how it had happened. 3:37 of absolute great singletrack that I could only grit my teeth through. The only thing that kept me going was the push to keep our top 10 overall position.

Finally done. photo by John Gibson.

The post race party was a great success as Sneddon sealed the deal and noone puked. But we all felt pretty dull and beat up the next day. Thanks to Demo Dave and the Gibtron for being the best support support crew ever. The bond of fireworks is a lifelong bond. Thanks to all of our homestays for keeping us well rested and well fed. Thanks to the BC Bike Race crew for pulling together such an incredible event. And thanks to Kona for letting us race in memory of our friend Denis Fontaine. He popped into our thoughts throughout the week.

TEST OF METAL

The Test of Metal is a classic mountain bike race in BC. A Canadian Epic as they say. And it is. A 67km point to point mountain bike race thats been running for over 15 years on some of the best singletrack in BC. Plus they have one of the biggest prize purses. With 10 x $100 primes along the route for the first male and female rider, it always attracts a lot of fast racers.

I have raced this event as a newbie pro and a seasoned pro. I always knew I wanted a win but it had to be put on the back burner as it often conflicted with other mountain bike races or Norm's Half Ironman. But this year, with no worlds invite (bastards) my dance card was wide open and I was just starting to hit some good fitness. I had the win in the back of my mind but really just wanted to have a fun ride. I looked in my stable and chose the Hei Hei Supreme. Yeehaw! Time to play.

A big crew from the island was heading over for the race which always means a good battle. I have a long standing feud with our friend Justin Mark. He is currently killing me 3:0. Also Norm had thrown it out there that his goal for the race was to beat me. Where is the love?? And I can never dismiss Dik Cox who always seems to catch me on the descents with his big ol' Dawg.

The cool thing about the Test of Metal is that it is dominated by the weekend warrior. Mass start with maybe 50 pros, maybe another 50 ex-pros, 100's of hard core closet trainers, and 100's more weekend warriors. All shapes and sizes, ages, bikes and backgrounds. I think its cool we all race the same course but when I was registering I heard this poor girl freaking out at her boyfriend when I walked by in my perfectly matched white Kona kit. "Look at HER, she looks like she is really fast HOW COME YOU MADE ME RACE AGAINST HER?!" the pitch was getting higher and higher. I thought she was going to crack. Tears were definitely on the way. Apparently some beginners don't think mixing the pros and warriors together is all that cool. I told her not to worry about me, I was a different category so she would be fine.

With 900+ racers the start chute is usually pretty congested. The self seed had hundreds in the estimated "under 3 and a half hours" sector and maybe half a dozen in the "over 5 hrs" sector. Hmmmm. Everyone is always pretty jiggy off the line. Noone wants to be behind on the singletrack so its a mad rush up the first big climb through the residential neighborhood. Plus it might be joe blow's only chance to make $100 on the first prime. But as I looked up the road, who did I see towing the entire train of 900 racers?? - my teammate Kris Sneddon! Surpise, surprise.

I was nearing the first prime at the top of the big climb when I started to hear some exceptionally femine breathing on my left. Uh oh. I was being challenged. I felt like crap so Jean Ann McKirdy crushed me and made the first $100. But up and over into the first singletrack I pushed past and never saw her again. I found myself in a group with a few island boys (Norm included) so the trash talking began. Justin Mark would pop but not die. Norm tried to drop me up the climb but I reeled him back in. I asked him if he had been doing some secret training without me. He shot back "no, have you?" I dropped the island boys at the top of the climb. Norm claims it was because the drunk boys gave me an extra long push at the top. I guess he didn't hear them say "don't worry we are pushing everyone, but you have the nicest ass out of everyone so far"

I could catch glimpses of the boys closing in on me but they never caught me. I looked at my watch through crumpet woods (also known as crampit woods) and saw that I had a chance to go under 3hrs! I was pretty sure no girl had ever cracked the 3 hour mark so I pushed past chatty joe and didnt stop when Norm's friend Graeme CRACKED and pulled over on the sideof the trail to pull it back together. A long look behind to make sure the boys couldn't catch me and I pulled in for a course record and $900 in primes! Not too shabby.

Fort William World Cup

Saturday I was in sunny Scotland getting a tan racing the Fort William Mountain Bike World Cup and Sunday I was in Vancouver freezing my butt off watching the Triathlon World Championships. Crazy time travel.

I will back up....Sandra and her mom and I left our relaxing little resort on the coast of Spain Wed afternoon to head to Scotland. We were sad to go but it was probably best as the buffet was going to catch up with us sooner or later. My belly has been out of practice this year since I am no longer eating roast lamb lunches and cheesecake for lunch at Malaspina. Ryanair was a little sticky with my excess baggage but we shuffled it around and voila - nothing was overweight. The check in gal couldn't quite get her head around it either but she let us through.

We arrived in Scotland at 7pm and picked up some Scottish pounds (2.2 exchange rate - ouch!)and the rental car. Sandra was the lucky winner for driving on the left hand side but after hopping a few curbs and missing a few left hand shifts she started to feel a bit more comfortable. I was the navigator and the second brain "stay left...stay left..LEEFFT!"Google maps had suggested a 3hr drive but we hit a detour and ended up arriving after 1am. The crazy twisty, narrow roads were a bit terrifying, especially when you started to focus in on the deer munching in the gutter or the sheep sleeping in the small gap between the road and rock walls. But the second brain was vigilant. "sheep...sheep..SHEEP!"

We went to put our bikes together the next morning and got eaten ALIVE by the midges. I had HUGE hair from swatting at them biting me up around my hairline. I hear big hair is in. When we prerode the course it was kind of freaky looking at volunteers with screen faces to keep the midges out. I am sure they would have gone mental without it. I have a couple seasons of tree planting experience and I know that biting insects can drive you to a. drink or b. kill. I guess it just depends on your personality which direction you sway.

Sandra's mom did a solo summit of Ben Nevis in less than 3 hours, without oxygen, and in flip flops. Ok she had hiking boots on and there were 100's of other tourists but she looked like she was out for a stroll in the park compared to the HUGE packs some of the people were carrying when we dropped her off at the trail head. She just got back from hiking in Patagonia so I think she was a bit disappointed in teh difficulty level....

The race course was super fun. Completely different than 2 years ago when I had one of my best World Cup finishes. It wasn't as technical but it had great flow. It was basically one huge climb, one super long downhill and then a flat double track bringing you back to the start area. Repeat. The talk of the town was the hot sunny weather we were having. The course was built for rain and lots of it so the hot, dry, dusty conditions were unexpected.

Race day: I had a great start and was climbing pretty well in the top 15. I fell behind a bit on the climb every lap but would usually catch them on the twisty downhill. Unfortunately this meant I was at the back of the pack for the flat doubletrack section so I was yo-yoing after every corner. I was feeling pretty good though for the first few laps and then I started to fade. I am starting to realize that my 7 weeks base training after CX worlds just wasnt enough for the world cup mountainbike circuit this year. I could fake it for about an hour and a half but then I would be exposed for what I really am: a 45min CX racer that prefers short punchy climbs to long mountain passes. I slipped backwards the last two laps to end up 29th. But I felt like I was actually racing in the first 3 laps, so I took it for what it was: another step at bring back my MTB endurance. I should be flying by August....

No time to watch the mens race this week as I had to pack up my stuff and catch a train by 6pm. A 3hr train ride was an amazing way to see Scotland. I saw lots of sheep, wooly cows, wild purple rhododendrons, Scottish broom, a few rabbits and lots of lush green grass. They couldn't fool me with their hot sunny weather. I knew it rained a lot here.

Sunday 6am I was on a flight back to Canada (first class wahoo!). Norm picked me up in Vancouver at noon and whisked me off to see the World Triathlon Championships. Team Canada was hoping for some medals. I was listening to all of the politics associated with that sport as the Olympic team would be decided immediately after the race and announced that night. Rumour had it one of the athletes had a lawyer waiting....

I was pretty fuzzy from jetlag and I don't think the 2 cupcakes helped but I was happy to be home. Now I am trying to get some miles in so I am ready for BC Bike Race. Home court advantage. Bring it on.

Spanish hot chocolate. Chocolate caliente. Its pretty much as thick as pudding. Yum!

The castle at Tossa da Mar 

Sandra and the sasquatch at the top of a climb on the coast. I am not a monster!

The Kula Supreme kickin' it on the Costa Brava

The Cataluyna ass

The hike to Tossa da Mar

The hike to Tossa da Mar

Costa Brava

So I had 3 choices on what to do between the world cups 

1. Stay in Andorra at altitude and train in the rain in the Pyraneese 

2. Go to Scotland right away and train in the rain at Ben Nevis

3. Go to the coast of Spain and train with Sandra in the sun

hmmmmmm tough choice. 

So we are here at a “fitness resort” called Giverola just north of Barcelona. Sandra used to guide the bike tours a few years ago so she knows the area and everyone at the resort. Its awesome! We have a little apartment overlooking the beach cove and there is everything we need and more. The Swisspower team is here too but they are making us look bad, handing out trading booklets with postcard sized autograph cards to all the kids. 

Recovery mode

Sunday was spent washing clothes (my white kit came clean!). And eating. They have a huge breakfast buffet and theme night dinners. We considered a road ride but it was raining pretty hard so we hit the gym for some stretching and a spin indoors. At least it was probably warmer than Andorra and Scotland. A swim in the mineral pool and a Jacuzzi pretty much made my day. AND it was only Sunday! I am not used to racing Sat so it seemed like “found time”. Sandra figures its just as valuable as found money. I agree.

Back on the program

Monday we had to do some serious bike cleaning. We had pressure washed the bikes after our race in Andorra but there was still a ton of mud in everything so we spent an hour at the bike wash station. Frischy rode by and joked that he was going to bring us his bikes to wash next. Ha ha ha ha. Dick. Afterwards, Sandra took us on this cool mountain bike ride in the hills behind the resort and we found some “extreme” terrain (yah right) for us to ride in the sun. 

Euro massages

The legs still felt pretty tired so we booked a massage with Ali the moroccon massage therapist. Now I know us North Americans are a little body conscious compared to the euros but I am pretty sure I got felt up. His wayward fingertips strayed a little too far off course a few too many times to be coincidence. And I seriously didn’t think my groin needed to be stretched THAT much. And who ever heard of a stomach massage that conveniently strays close to the boobs?? Yvonne doesn't have that one in her arsenal of tricks. I made a comment to Sandra and she said the same thing! Her mom panicked and cancelled her appt. 

This morning I did a road ride into the next town. It was along this great highway that twisted up and down along the coast. And the cars didn’t freak out if they were behind you. Then we went into Tossa de Mar and checked out the castle and took a glass bottom boat back. Off to dinner. Tonight is Greek night. One more day here then we are off to Scotland.

Quote of the week

Sue Haywood (Trek-VW) describing her crash while pre-riding the course in Andorra:

"it was like the hand of God came down and SMACKED me...."

Regula Walter (Sandra's mom) was the official photographer for the trip to Andorra. 

Wildflowers all over the place in the Pyreneese

Post race Sandra with a little extra mud.

The start of the women's race - 2 Canucks on the front row, one in the leaders jersey. Impressive.

Our accommodation, the Velvet Apartments, nestled in the Pyreneese mountains. Not too shabby.

A helicopter crew dismantling the chair lift towers outside of our Velvet Apartments. Geo would have been glued to the action all day with his binos.

Andorra World Cup report

I wasn’t really sure if I was going to come back to Europe again after such a disappointing trip in May. But I shook off the funk and remembered that I had taken the year off work to travel to cool places and race my bike against the best in the world. So I quit my whining and booked a first class ticket on points. May as well travel in style. I could easily be a 5star girl. I DO like my luxuries. Traveling first class is sweet! They treat you like gold, they give you chocolates and wine with your meal and they practically tuck you into bed when they are done. Ahhh. It makes for pretty smooth travels and is much easier on the legs. The only problem with first class is you never want to go back to economy.

Andorra

The drive from Barcelona to Andorra was a bit more of an adventure. Mapquest had estimated a 3 hr drive however it was closer to six with a crappy map, poor navigation skills, my lack of Spanish and a super twisty drive through the mountains. But the car rental had upgraded me to an Audi3 TDi so it was a pretty fun drive, especially with the 80s tunes pumping out of virtually every radio station. I finally got to Andorra and even in my jet lagged state I could appreciate how incredibly beautiful it was. Well, except the 5km stretch of Robson-like shopping that I had to drive through many times before someone finally pointed me in the right direction to the mountain. As Rob Jones said, “they may as well put a dome over it and call it the biggest shopping mall in the world.” I finally reached the Velvet Apartments. I stayed awake until my travel buddy Sandra Walter (XO-Felt) and her mom arrived after midnight and then I crashed hard. I was so tired. But… I was wide awake at 5am. Jet lag is a bitch.

Altitude

The race in Andorra was at 2000m. Altitude sucks. Well, I hope that is what made my “3 blocks from the water” body feel like crap, otherwise its ME that sucks. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest. And I was drinking as much as I physically could but I still had headaches. Come on! It wasn’t even THAT high. But lots of top racers had decided to skip this race because of the altitude. Many are getting ready for the Olympics so it doesn’t fit into their grand master plan. I am usually affected a bit by altitude but I had nothing to lose. 

UCI Trade team perks

Kona is a UCI trade team. I don’t have the receipts but I am pretty sure Kona pays THOUSANDS of dollars to the UCI for this designation which seems to get them 1. a spot at the expo 2. the team name on results 3. a coveted rainbow pass for the manager (often includes drinks and snacks) and 4. parking passes for the team. Sounds like a great deal. I asked for a parking pass at the registration but they said they couldn’t get me one, limited parking so everyone was supposed to park at the bottom of the hill and take the gondola up. Huh. Nice perk. When we drove up to check out the venue and preride, the police stopped me on the way up and said “no pass, you park here” (this was ~750m down an 8% grade hill from the venue). But, but….."NO PASS, YOU PARK HERE!” he yelled. Ok. I should admit he was pissed at me because I happened to be accelerating up the hill when we came upon him. And he was telling me to slow down but it took me a second to come to a complete stop. BUT, in my defense, he was wearing a BERET. How I am supposed to take the Andorran police seriously when they wear berets?? It would really suck if we had to park down the hill and haul all of our gear in the rain on race day. That afternoon I went back to the registration and asked for a parking pass again. We gave the beret wearing cops a BIG thumbs up when we parked at the TOP of the hill race day with our thousand dollar parking pass. Thanks KONA! I don’t know if it was worth thousands of dollars but it made my life easier.

Sweet Sylvain

So I was checking all my bolts the night before the race, as I am prone to do (ha ha, Norm knows he is the one that usually does that!) and I noticed that my rear brake caliper was totally loose. Yikes! Close call. But when I tightened it I had some serious brake rub. I tried to fix it but needed a bunch of spacers. Norm packed me a few but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t need altitude AND brake rub slowing me down. It was almost 10pm but Sandra texted Sylvain to see if he could help me out. Not only did he fix it FOR me, but he showed me me a trick on what to do next time. Thanks Sylvain!

The race

I woke up race day and the fat man that had been sitting on my chest seemed to have taken a break. Or so I thought. It had also started drizzling a bit so the rooty rocky course was probably getting slipperier as we ate breakfast. Hmm. To pull out the mud tires or not? When it opened up and poured an hour before the race the answer was obvious. Everyone scrambled. I had to do my warm up on the course in the trees because it was pouring. I was soaked and muddy by the time we were called to the start. But I knew the bigger tires were a good call.

I didn’t want to blow up at altitude (been there – its painful and impossible to recover from) so I had a conservative start.  I got caught behind a big line of riders in the technical sections as a result of my conservative start but I told myself to not panic and try to make up time in the last 2 laps. Ren (Chines rider) was apparently a little more stressed out as she screamed "WHY!?!" when a girl crashed in front of her. Well, I guess its good that they are learning some English. I was riding technically well but I felt so slow on the climbs. My bike weighed a ton with all the mud on it. Neil Ross was feeding me and it felt like he had time to knit a frickin' sweater from the time I crested the hill to when I took a water bottle from him. (thanks for the feed Neil!). By the last 2 laps I soon realized that my speed wasn’t picking off any riders and noone was blowing up and coming back to me. The gaps were too big and I didn’t have the extra energy that was supposed to available according to my master plan. Dammit. Hopefully it was the altitude. Otherwise I might start losing my stalkers to someone faster….

where's Wendy?

I know, I know. How come I wasn't racing Santa Ynez last weekend?

According to the pre-race report I was third in the series (not true, I double flatted and posted a DNF in Arizona) so why would I no-show? The little rumour bees were flying. I am sick, I am injured, I have run off with my stalker, I am anorexic (seriously! I am the SAME weight as last year! my jerseys were just too big).

But the truth has less drama. I won't be in the running for the NMBS series because I am doing BC Bike Race with Norm in July and will miss the Deer Valley NMBS. So why would I want to fly to California and cook my brains out on a lame course with zero spectators to witness my potential glory?

I much preferred my weekend racing the local Vancouver Island boys on my shiny new Hei Hei Supreme on a sweet course made up of 100% single track. And then Monday, when I would have been in airports all day, I took my shiny new Kula Supreme 29er out for a spin to get used to the BIG wheels after reading about the carnage that was Santa Ynez. Yeah, I guess you could say I was happy with my decision.

Sometimes I just need to go back to my local grassroots events to ride some fun trails with some great people and remember why I got into this sport in the first place.

Thanks to the Port Alberni crew for putting on such a great race. Although the course did not meet UCI code (with its le mans start, logrides and unmanned feedzone in the trees), the singletrack was sweet, the competition was fierce, and the burgers were delicious!

My name is Marty. And I like to party.

Stalking is the sincerest form of flattery...

I'm huge in europe. I keep trying to tell KONA that, but they don't believe me. I thought I had met my ultimate super fan in Belgium (not the one with the unibrow, he likes Barb Howe) but apparently I have a couple here in North America.

I am back in Canada now (the west coast not PEI) so I should take the time to answer your questions seeing as you are such big fans and have done such a great job stalking me. Your efforts should be rewarded.

http://joyonbike.blogspot.com/2008/04/q-and-with-wendy-simms.html

I have included the entire original post for your reading pleasure.

Windy Simms, hands down my favorite top pro mountain bike chick. Pictured here at a Cross race (although i DO NOT condone CX events, she looks pretty tough here. Like she could eat you.) I took a moment today to sketch out some questions for this World Class Athlete regarding her recent and continued assault on the World Cup Circuit.

I have found it tricky to contact her, especially since she is prepping for race #3 in Madrid. However, I did have a missed call on my cell today from a 902 area code. I called 411. They said that is a Canadian area code. Prince Edwards Island to be exact. Now Wendy is Canadian, so that could have been her. Thanks a lot, meeting chairperson, one missed call equals a lifetime of missed opportunity. Since Wendy is unavaible at this time (good luck to her for SURE though) Matt Freeman offered to step in and answer as best he could. Pretty close second I think.

Hi Joy,It’s Matt Freeman. Most people don’t know this, but I’m president of the Wendy Simms fan club. I don’t publicize it because she rides for Kona and I ride Fisher bikes, so it’s kind of a conflict of interest. Plus Wendy and I have never actually met, talked or even exchanged emails. In fact, I’m not allowed within 50 feet of the Kona truck and trailer at races anymore. Anyway, as you know Wendy is in Europe racing World Cups right now so she can’t answer your questions, but I can do my best. I’ve followed her long enough to know how she may answer.

J.O.B (Joy On Bike): Wendy, you used to ride for the Velo Bella Sorority Club, and now you are the token female on the Kona Factory Team. How do you feel about this transition?

MF: Since both teams ride Kona bikes it wasn’t much of change for Wendy at all. And I don’t like to consider her the token female on the team. I consider her more the queen bee or dominatrix.

WS: I was kicked off Velo Bella because I didn't wear enough "flare". Kona said I was the girl that looked best in orange so I made the team. The boys made me feel welcome though, they put a sticker on my locker that said "the girl" and gave me XL sized clothing to help me feel as skinny as them.

JOB: Did you select to race with these boys because they are all taller than you?

MF: Wendy raced cyclocross on the Kona Factory Team, so her transition to the mountain bike squad was seamless. It actually came about as a bet during a pick-up basketball game Wendy was playing with Ryan Trebon, Barry Wicks, & Chris Sneddon. Wendy dunked on Trebon & Wicks to earn her spot on the team. I got it all on film if you want to see it. She’s got hops.

WS: I just wanted to race with Ryan because he is so dreamy.

Lucky guess on the basketball MF - no points too easy

JOB: Do you break as many seat posts as they do?

MF: The last time Wendy broke a seat post she was riding a Specialized, so no, she doesn’t break seat posts! What kind of question is that anyway, Joy?

WS: I mostly break stuff when I smash it after getting angry because I suck as a mechanic. Nice pullout on the Specialized though MF - my first mountain bike. Bonus points for what colour it was and who gave it to me. Then I will let you sniff my chammy.

JOB: Do you find it stressful racing in the USA? Do you feel like your competitors constantly have the “Blame Canada” song running through their minds?

MF: Wendy doesn’t mind racing in the USA, just as long as it’s not in the Hell of the West otherwise known as Fontana. A couple of the Sobe Cannondale girls have been known to hum Blame Canada when Wendy puts the hurt on them, but for the most part Legs by ZZ Top runs through most people’s minds when Wendy’s around.

WS: how can it be stressful racing in the US? there is usually no technical riding on any of your courses....

JOB: A recent post on your blog has a hinney shot of a girl’s shorts that has “MOIST and CHEWY” emblazoned on them. Are they sponsored by some sort of Nougat?

MF: We (Wendy & I) aren’t really sure what the deal was with the “MOIST and CHEWY” shorts, but personally, I believe those shorts belong on Wendy and no one else.

WS: I was hoping for a brownie sponsor

JOB: Your blog also boasts fantastic race shots of the Pro men on your team. How do you find time to race your heart out, cool down, then hike to such places as the “snake pit” and “wolf drop” to support your teammates? Your resilience is enviable.

MF: Don’t let her fierce competiveness fool you. Wendy is selfless, loyal, and dedicated to her friends and teammates. Aside from her long legs and goddess good looks, that’s what makes her a beautiful person and a treat to be within 50 feet of her presence.

WS: I like to watch the mens races so I can feel like a total loser on my bike. Or to watch Ryan because he is so dreamy. MF has obviously never been closer than 50feet to me when I am hungry. This "beautiful person" can scratch your eyes out....

JOB: Do you find it difficult to get the mud out of your new, mostly white, racing kit?

MF: Wendy hasn’t actually had to wash any of her new white racing kits and skinsuits yet. Some weirdo keeps swiping them from the Kona trailer before she can get them home.

WS: Some wierdo keeps stealing my kits so I haven't had to wash any yet....

JOB: You got a new bike, and I must say, its pretty much the cat’s meow. What’s the history on the skull and cross bones on the down tube?

MF: The skull and cross bones is a superstitious thing that is meant to scare off her men male suitors. It only works on some of us.

WS: Reminds me to be a badass on the bike. Otherwise I might forget.

JOB: You had an unfortunate run in with fate in Arizona with a crash in STXC and a flat in the XC race. What were 7 things that went through your mind as you hiked your bike back to the pit areas?

MF: I can’t really read Wendy’s mind, but she was probably thinking about how hot it was because the sweat was glistening all over her body. She also kept looking back, so she probably knew that she was being followed.

WS:

1. Who the hell is that nutbar on the Fisher following me?

2. I hope I don't starve to death out here.

3. Good thing I won't freeze to death out here.

4. stupid pretty flowering desert plants giving me allergies

5. crazy lizards

6. what can i use to fight that nutbar on the Fisher that is getting closer?

7. is that a vulture?

JOB: I see your biggest fears in life are starving to death and freezing to death. Let us understand a little bit more about these phobias.

MF: I too read this on Wendy’s blog and was delighted because those two things are my biggest frears also. This is what draws me even closer to her. Although, if I did have to starve or freeze to death, I’d want it to be with Wendy.

WS: Hopefully MF has some sweet calves and an extraordinary large abdominal cavity because if I am with him when I am starving to death I am going to eat him and if I am with him when I am freezing to death I will cut him open and crawl inside to stay warm.

JOB: I completely agree with this statement from your blog: “In other news. I gave up on my chocolate boycott. It wasn't helping. Perhaps even hindering my results. I think my glycogen stores were depleted without chocolate to top them off. Seriously. I think I race better on chocolate.” What was your first choice of chocolate? Walk us through that initial bite.

MF: I can’t answer this for sure, but I’d like to think Wendy caved with some good old fashion chocolate syrup. You know, the kind that sometimes spills and you have to lick it off your arm. I’m thinking that’s the kind of chocolate Wendy likes.

WS: Neuhaus chocolate - caprice triangle - dark. For $129euros you too can have them delivered to your door. Syrup is for pansies. Who like to lick arms.

JOB: I like your style. When “Susie Colnago” pulled a fast one, you wanted to punch her in the head. Solid. You said video footage could be found from Newt. Who is this guy? Where can he be found? And can we watch that video ASAP?

MF: Newt, or Newton, as he’s known to the authorities is another one of Wendy’s admirers who follows her (from a court-mandated 50 foot distance) and films her every move. For some unapparent reason that I can’t figure out, Wendy has taken a liking to him and now allows him to fetch her chocolate, lattes, etc. It’s kind of like that paparazzi photographer guy that Britney Spears has let slip into her life. It’s driving me nuts because Newt really doesn’t care for Wendy. He’s just trying to make a buck off of her.

WS: coming soon to youtube I am sure....my Dad is first in line.

Nice work superfans. Impressive research. BUT you are not a Jedi yet.

one strike. I dont't drink coffee